Break You
by liddlebirdyx
Summary: When you would give anything for your best friends happiness, what happens when the one thing they want, is the one thing you're not sure you can give?
1. Prologue

A small, freckled covered child clung helplessly to her mother's leg as they made their way towards the gate of what would be her new school. She scoffed. Kindergarten? Why would she want to go to school, when she could have been at home watching cartoons in the comfort of her new "big girl" bed? She looked up at the owner of the pant leg she was so desperately holding onto, her big emerald eyes silently pleading to turn around and take her home. Her mother just smiled sadly, and she let out a small huff of defeat as one of her red curls fell out of their placement in her long, delicate braids.

"Clarissa, darling," her mother's voice sounded as she crouched down in front of the small five year old. "Be a good girl for mommy, and at least try to behave, won't you? It's recess right now. Go find your brother, alright? He said he would play with you."

She crossed her arms in defiance, turning away her head, refusing to meet the gaze of her mother. She was a traitor as far as Clary was concerned. She heard her mother's faint, feeling the familiar press of her lips against her forehead before she stood back up.

"I love you, cupcake. Be good!" her mother, or more so the evil witch, called out before she turned back towards the car Clarissa wanted to be in at the very moment.

Clary drew her bottom one between her teeth again out of habit as a small crease formed between her brows as her eyes roamed over the playground filled with many children, looking for one in particular.

She easily found the pale white-blonde hair boy, noticing that he was surrounded by a group of friends. She shrugged, already aware of how popular her brother truly was. He was too social for his own good. She made her way towards the swings, not bothering to interrupt her elder brother's playtime.

One she was situated on the swing, she looked up to find a pair of eyes staring back at her, identical to her own.

"Clare, why didn't you come over to play?" he questioned, his face holding confusion.

She shrugged. "You seemed busy."

"I'm never too busy for you, Clare-bear."

"Yeah, Clare-bear," a new voice chimed in.

She turned her head to face the person with the arrogant voice, only to be met with golden orbs and hair to match that were the brightest shade of gold she had ever encountered. She had a feeling that gold would become her new favorite color. She flushed, but nonetheless replied with a sarcastic remark.

"And who might you be, one of John's lover boy's?" she challenged, earning a glare from the golden boy, and a chuckle from her brother.

Golden boy just grumbled something under his breath as the bell sounded.

* * *

It was the first time they met, and the first time the boy had ever met anyone who could deflate his ego with a simple remark. Most girls in his grade would just attempt to get him infested with their cooties, but she seemed to be not affected by his appearance.

But it wasn't until the following year that they truly could be considered friends.

* * *

It was afterschool, and John was sick which left Clary all alone to wait by her mom at the playground in the back of her school. A young, but tall boy, was currently taunting her over her braids. He pulled at them with force, shouting Pippi Longstocking remarks at her. He had also stomped on her glasses, saying she looked stupid. She was in tears, but the boy was merciless.

It wasn't until a pair of arms wrapped around her that she figured out the pulling had stopped. She turned her head, to find none other than Jace holding her, as he took in her appearance, but was instantly relieved when he didn't mention the tracks on her cheeks that previously held tears. He simply just rocked her back in forth until her sobs slowed to a stop. Releasing her lip as a breath followed, she rubbed furiously at her eyes.

"How did you know how to do that?" she questioned before she felt his chest vibrate with a laughter.

After his laughter slowed down, he became quiet. She was about to tell him never mind before he spoke in a small, and sad tone of voice. "I don't know, my dad used to do it for my mom."

"Oh. I-I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking.

He shook his head at her, ignoring her statement. "Are you okay, Pippi?"

She nodded before she slapped him across the back of his head, earning a surprised grunt.

"What was that for!" he shouted, noticing that he held back his anger quite well for a young boy.

"For calling me Pippi. That's what Sebastian was calling me before he started pulling on my braids."

His expression softened to one of understanding, and before she knew it his hands were in her hair pulling out her braids as her red hair came tumbling down to her waist in soft waves.

"Screw the braids, it looks better down," he commented, nodding as if he was proud of his work. "So best friends?"

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at him.

"Only if you promise not to call me Pippi Longstockings anymore."

He was suddenly beaming. "You got it, babe."

"Babe?" she questioned, giving him a look of disapproval.

The small boy shrugged, giving her a devious grin that made even a six year old Clary melt.

And thus, the root of the nickname that belonged only to the same, small framed, freckled covered, pale-skinned, flaming red-haired girl whom Jace would now call his best friend.

* * *

**Reviews? Ideas on where you would like the story to go? **

**~ xx**


	2. Chapter 1 - Who Matters Most

**Due to my lack of creativity for my other story, Lovely Bones, I have decided to attempt to combine the two ideas into one story.**  
**I have written chapters from Lovely Bones that would of been used later on, that I feel will work much better in this specific story.**  
**Therefore, I'm combining both first chapters of my two stories into one while I'm working on chapter two.  
This chapter will probably be confusing due to all of the combining, but it will get better soon. Promise.  
****Enjoy, and review. :)**

* * *

Clarissa stared at the bare white walls that surrounded her in almost a suffocating manner. Johnathan, her older brother, had offered her the choice of living at their old house, or moving into their own condo. Her brother had insisted it would be more comfortable than the reminders of their one story home. She chose the condo after much hesitation on her own behalf. Though it was more spacious and luxurious than most, Clary couldn't help but hide the disappointment that took over every time she looked at one of the dreary walls.

Sighing, she thought of how much she would enjoy the room if she could paint the walls orange. The color reminded her of home, of her mother. Her emerald colored eyes instantly filled with a salty mixture that flowed down her structured cheekbones silently at the reminder of her now dead mother. She quickly brushed away the unwanted tears and let out the breath she hadn't realize she was holding. Clary silently wished that she would wake up, and everything would return back to normal. But normal was never a part of her life. She knew that this was far too vivid, far too real.

It had been two years since her parents had passed. Two years of putting fake smiles, and false dreams for the world to see. No one had seen past the glamour she had set, not even her own brother. He believed first that it was just a stage, a reaction to the sudden loss. But after the weeks turned into over a year, and a year turned into two, he shrugged it off like this had always been her life style.

But this wasn't Clarissa. No, it was not her at all. Clarissa Morgenstern-Fairchild would have been studying at one of the top art schools, pursuing her dreams no matter the cost. But Clary Fray had taken over and was apparently here to stay. Her life now consisted of the life her father wanted for her. She could almost taste her father's words in her mouth.

_"Put that flimsy piece of paper away before I snap those paintbrushes. Art is not worth our time, my dear Clarissa. People like us don't waste our time on art. You should be thinking about what school you want to go to. You _will _be a lawyer, Clarissa. Do not make the mistake of letting me down."_

She suddenly laughed without humor, wishing she had the nerve to even just paint her white walls a different shade. But for some reason, she couldn't disappoint her father. So there she was, passing her way through school earning a full scholarship to one of the best universities to become a lawyer.

But wasn't that what all children did? Tried to live up to their parents expectations? Though her reasoning held more guilt than probably most others. She couldn't help but to feel like this was the only way she could repay her father for betraying him all those short years.

She was going to be a lawyer. She was beyond rich. She was popular. She was the head cheerleader. She was a gymnast. She was co-captain of the volley ball team. She was on the school's dance-line. She was beautiful, in her own weird, weird way. She was everything her father wanted her to be, but yet it felt like it would never be good enough.

Clary attempted to pass off the feeling as it being that no one was good enough for her. Which is why she had a new _boy toy_, as Isabelle called it, every week. No one could live up to her expectations of what was obviously a fairytale. The fairytale no one else was able to see, except for her own imagination.

Her imagination led her to believe that one day, her very own prince charming would show up in all gold, and sweep her off her feet. They would be wed, and she would be a famous artist living in bliss with a few children, and her prince would be off fighting away whomever decided to threaten their small castle.

But those were dreams, and this was reality she was talking about.

Reality was the least bit of beautiful. Reality was life, and life was hard. How she managed to survive it to this day was a question left unanswered for over two years.

She shook her head furiously as if to shake off all of the inner thoughts coursing throughout her brain, letting her fiery red curls fly across her face.

Popping her head up, she suddenly remembered that today was the prep rally. Great, just one more thing to worry about.

Huffing, she hopped out of bed with ease, making her way towards her overflowing closest. The black hole as Johnathan had once called it. Grinning to herself at the memory, she starting rummaging through the clothing until she found her cheer uniform. Quickly peeling off her clothing, she tossed them into an empty basket before grabbing the clothes and walking towards the bathroom.

Turning on the light, she walked over to the shower turning it on before turning around to wait for the water temperature to adjust. She looked at herself in the mirror briefly, cursing her small breasts before yanking a brush through her tangled mess of hair.

She reached for the toothbrush, squirting toothpaste on the bristles before raising it to her mouth to scrub viciously. If she was obsessed about anything, it would have been cleaning her teeth. Ever since her brother joked about her teeth falling out one Halloween when she had done nothing but eat candy for a week straight, she was determined to keep her teeth perfect.

Rinsing her mouth out, she turned around and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water cascade down her frame. The water instantly soothed her but she quickly cleaned herself before stepping out, knowing she had little time to get ready tonight. Once out of the warmth of her shower, she slowly slid the shirt over her head and tugged up a pair of lace underwear along with her shorts before starting on her makeup.

As soon as her hair was dried, and her makeup finished, she walked over to her bed, stepping into heals and retreating back to the bathroom.

She was once again faced in front of a mirror. The girl staring back at her was wearing a skintight, cheer uniform that barely covered anything. How the school managed to pass these outfits off, no one knew. Despite the fact that they were old. Her curls hung lose around her shoulders, covering up some of what her outfit failed to do. Her eyes were smudged with a dark eye shadow, and her lips were a bright shade of red. They almost matched the color of her hair perfectly.

She didn't doubt that people would take an interest in her despite what her best friend, Jace, would do if he saw them.

Despite the gratification, she still felt a lingering feeling. The feeling was disappointment. Disappointment that she had lost the most important piece of herself. What that piece was, she was oblivious to.

Cursing, she grabbed her cellphone and keys and began the quiet ascend down the stairs. But her quiet attempt hadn't gone unnoticed when she heard her the familiar voice of her best friend, and her brother commenting on her lack of clothing. Today was going to be a long day.

* * *

Bright emerald eyes fixated out of the window on the passenger side of a familiar car. Her chapped lower pout was instantaneously attacked by pearly white teeth as a wave of anxiety crashed into her slender frame. It was the first day of her junior year of high school, the first day of finally being an upper classman, and the first day of being the official captain of varsity cheer.

It wasn't the pressure that was causing her anxiety, because she was used to the pressure of being a captain after being elected co-captain of the volley ball team her sophomore year. It was nerves. Nerves that ran through her delicate body for no god damn absolute reason at all.

Isabelle had insisted that she simply nervous due to the lack of sleep and constant time spent perfecting moves. Clarissa had made sure that she would create the best routine that the school has seen in years, which wouldn't be too hard, actually. The cheer squad had over all sucked majorly, up until a few years ago. Now it was her time to improve the squad. The first thing that had to go, were the dreaded and outdated uniforms.

But back to her dreaded background. Cheering was never a number one priority for her. Dance was her number one, and once was art. Despite that she never drew much after her mother passed. She got into dance at a young age, and joined the dance team at her school her freshman year. The gymnastics she took as a child paid off, and she soon decided to take on cheer.

Being a part of the cheer squad didn't gain you popularity. Either you were liked, or you weren't. No one bothered with stereo-typical labels. Everyone did their own thing around here. But you often did have your arrogant players, and your typical game geeks.

She was considered the best of both worlds. She was never lacking in the looks department, despite her height. Her curves were very much existent upon her almost cream-like skin. Her bright, red hair brought only more attention to her as did her angular cheekbones, and big, green hues. But even with her figure, and social status – she was still your typical nerd at heart. She's kept a 4.0 GPA through school, and got along great with the boys, always coming out number one in video games. She was what boys would call the perfect girlfriend.

But the perfect girlfriend, was untouchable. One night flings were more of her thing. Though she was taught from the best – her childhood best friend, Jace Herondale. He was the cocky, arrogant player and captain of the swim team. He also was a part of the football team during the fall. You could say he had the perfect body. His golden hair, with eyes to match only made him all the more beautiful. Most said they were the exact same person split into two. Double trouble as their parents often called them. Others insisted they were the perfect couple, despite that they never actually dated.

Except they knew exactly why everyone constantly thought that they were. Ever since she could remember, Jace had picked up the nickname babe. She was the only girl he ever called babe, and as much as she denied it, she melted at the simple fact. They held hands practically everywhere they went, despite if the other was dating. And they never denied the obvious sexual tension that had been existent for three years.

On the night of her freshman homecoming, she was stood up by one of the football players after not putting out. Jace ditched his date instantly coming to rescue his best friend, insisting that he would kill anyone who so much looked at her. It was the first time she cried over a boy, and the last. She had given Jace her virginity the same night, knowing very well that he was the only boy she could have ever given it to.

Jace later taught her all about the game, and she instantly became better at it then even he was. Which was hard to do, considering he was at the time, the most wanted person in the school. Together they pretty much ruled the school. Which worked to their advantage. Come on, who doesn't want the best parking space anyways?

They occasionally hooked up after parties, but it stopped all together with his latest girlfriend, Aline Penhallow. Clarissa had never officially met her, but she couldn't help but feel a sudden jealousy at his new relationship. But then again, she never cared much for any of his girlfriends. Which was why they never lasted long.

But she was the same way. If Jace didn't like you, you were out of the door. Her current boy toy, was Raphael Santiago. They had been dating on and off since the end of her sophomore year, despite Jace not exactly liking the kid. But they were team mates, so he caved over the summer. But Clary knew it was only because if he hurt her, Jace would drown him given the opportunity during practice.

She had been set up with Raphael by her best girlfriend, and co-captain, Isabelle Lightwood. The Lightwoods were like a second family to both her, and Jace. They spent most of their time with Alec and Isabelle, when they were hanging out with her brother. Alec and Clary had also been dating frequently, but that had been shut down the moment Jace's fist connected with Alec's face.

Isabelle was currently dating the transformed nerd, Simon Lewis. He was now what you would consider to be a stud. You could say Isabelle got her hands on him. Simon was a second brother to her, constantly being there when John and Jace could not. It was nice to have so many there to support her, and get her through every obstacle that was her life.

And life, today, consisted of high school.

Classes didn't start until seven thirty, but she and Isabelle were constantly forced to arrive an hour early to set up the gym for cheer practice. It was one of the many "perks" of being a captain, as coach had once said.

Snapping out of her thoughts, she turned to the dark haired beauty beside her in the car.

"You ready?" she questioned, putting on fake enthusiasm that was sure to make her best friend laugh. Today was a pep rally for school spirit, to kick off the first day of school and welcome back returning students.

"Shut it, Fray. Let's just get today over with."

* * *

Shoving her books with force into her already crammed locker during lunch, she instantly heard a familiar chuckle coming from behind her.

"Already that bad huh, babe?" a honey voice mused.

Clarissa turned around on the heel of her foot, instantly rolling her eyes. "Don't start, Herondale. Not in the mood."

She watched as a crease formed between his eyebrows at her sudden change in mood.

"Raphael need an ass beating? Or no, better yet, what about a good meet and greet with the swimming pool for a good ten minutes?"

"No, no, he and I are good. For now."

He shrugged, his blonde hair falling around his face with such perfection. "Come on, babe, I know just what you need."

She couldn't help but beam at the beautiful figure before her, nodding instantly and intertwining their fingers together at once after she closed her locker. If there was one thing about Jace that she absolutely loved, was the way he always knew exactly what she needed and when she needed it. Maybe it was just luck, but whatever it was she had to thank for it.

* * *

Once at their favorite frozen yogurt shop down town, Clary instantly went to their favorite booth as her best friend went up to go order. They were there enough that he knew exactly what she wanted.

Then again, maybe it was just a sign of addiction, considering how often they were actually here.

Clary heard rather than felt someone slide in the booth across from her, and knew instantly that the owner of the body was not the person she came here with. She looked up from her lap to be met with the cold glare of his girlfriend, instead. She wanted to laugh, but instead just started, putting on a confused mask.

"Listen, _Clarissa_," she hissed through her teeth, putting as much venom into her name as she could. "You need to stay the hell away from my boyfriend."

She scoffed, the laughter instantly pouring out. "Stay away from my best friend of eleven years? Good joke, Aline."

If looks could kill, Clarissa knew she would have been pronounced dead. Twice.

"I'm not fucking kidding. So help me god, I will ruin your life if you don't."

"And why, pray tell, do I need to stay away from Jace?" Clarissa asked, genuinely confused on the sudden anger from the girl in front of her.

"The rest of the world may be blind, but I'm not. I've seen the way you look at him, and he is _mine_, not yours. Do you need any help remembering that?"

"How exactly do I even look at him, Aline? Like he's the center of my universe? News flash, he is. In case you forgot, he is my best friend afer-" but before she was able to finish, cold water was dumped on top of her head, cutting her off at once.

"As I was saying, stay away from him. And don't bother letting him know about this, either. Believe me, he won't be the one taking your side. I can be _very_ persuasive," Aline stated with a devious smile.

"If there's one thing I tell my girlfriends, I mean, ex-girlfriends, it's that you don't fuck with my best friend. Goodbye, Aline. And in case that wasn't a good enough hint, we're done," Jace sounded, suddenly beside the table with two cups of frozen treats in his hands.

"But Jacey, she told me she wanted you all to herself! You don't understand!" her nasally voice sounded out, and Clary couldn't help but snicker at the girls desperation.

Jace ignored her as she continued her rant, and slid in the booth next to Clary, instantly wiping off the water that was streaming down her face with a heap of napkins. She barely registered an angry Aline leaving, as she was staring into the golden orbs of her best friend.

"You didn't have to do that, Jace. You should go after her. She's your girlfriend," she whispered, closing her eyes, waiting for his warmth to disappear once again.

Instead she felt large hands cup either side of her face, feeling his breath wash over her face. It smelled like he always did. Mint, spice, and sunshine.

"Was my girlfriend. But she's not you," he stated simply, brushing the damp hair out of her face.

Her eyes fluttered open, staring at the boy in front of her.

"You're the only one who matters, babe."

* * *

**Idk where I wanted to go with this, but I guess just a clue on where they stand at this point in their friendship.**

**Reviews? What do you want to happen?**

**~ xx**


	3. Chapter 2 - Always There

I'm just going to skip ahead, to like the night before Home Coming. It tends to take place early in the year, so w/e. =)

* * *

With another presence in the room, Clary instantly froze, her embarrassment for creating such a fuss over her appearance nearly tripling in that single moment. She was well aware of the blood which rushed to her cheeks and stained them scarlet as her emerald eyes scanned the colossal mess which had once been her neatly organized bedroom. She had no words to explain what she had been thinking at the time that she had created such a wreck, or how she had managed to in such a short amount of time for that matter. Her milky white teeth crazed her full lower lip as she examined the wreckage.

The contents of Clarissa's closet lay strewn across the sand-colored hardwood flooring, nearly completely covering the room and spilling out at the doorway. Dresses, jeans, shoes, and scarfs alike all thrown about and left where they had landed. There was even a ring in the small fishbowl which Jace had bought for her during one of their annual days together. The young girl licked her lips nervously before turning her eyes back to her best friend who stood in the doorway.

"I can explain..." She began though she was quiet certain that she would not be able to do so.

For a moment, Clary just took in Jace's appearance. Jace Herondale wasn't just hot. He was breathtakingly beautiful, just like how you would imagine your prince charming to be out of a fairy tale. His blonde hair was messy in the most perfect manner, framing his face in the most delicate way. Never a hair out of place. Right now, his eyes glittered like little melted flecks of gold that they were, but they seemed to of brighten when she met his gaze. His features all complimented him, his defined muscles, never an ounce of fat. He always seemed so at ease in his skin, a trait that Clarissa had always thought that was impossible, but had soon inherited after much work.

Dancing her way across the sea of clothing, Clarissa finally made her way to best friend's side. Lacing her arms around his neck, she willed all of her memories of confusion and uneasiness from her mind into words. She spared not one embarrassing detail. Minus what exactly her best friend's mere presence was doing to her at the moment.

She attempted to hide every time that her heart had skipped a beat, every breath which caught in her chest when Jace was near, and even the tiniest of touches which seemed to set her skin ablaze. As if watching a movie, Clarissa's mind played back the events of the day: How she had tried on every outfit in her possession at least twice, how she had seriously considered cutting all of her hair off for a good five minutes when she hadn't been satisfied with anything that she had attempted to do with it, and over all the pure and utterly terrifying fear that had been building up in her gut since the day of her encounter with Aline at the yogurt shop. Not that she would admit that to Jace, though. For all he knew, this was all for Raphael.

Swallowing deeply before releasing Jace from her grip, Clarissa moved to sit on a pile of clothing that now covered her bed in a swift movement and placed her face, which now resembled the color of an apple, in her hands.

"I feel so stupid," She admitted, her voice a weak whimper, "I can't find anything to wear to home coming tomorrow night. Why am I acting so stupid? It's just_ Raphael_." She groaned, her voice turning into a whimper on his name before turning her big eyes to her best friend, pleading for help.

She watched as the corners of his mouth tugged up before he made his way over to her, feeling his warmth cascade down her as his arms encircled her.

"Babe," he whispered a bit hoarsely, feeling his breath wash behind her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. She could even feel the little shit smile against her skin at her reaction. "Why are you going through all of this trouble to impress just one boy?"

That caught her attention, as she leaned back to be able to look at him before she replied in nothing but a small whisper. "He makes me feel things I can't explain, and I just want to know if he feels the same."

She almost missed the expression that flashed cross his eyes, and she registered it as hurt, or possibly anger before it was gone, and his mask of no emotion was back. "Who doesn't want you, babe?"

A dry laugh left her pale lips, as her shoulders hung slightly. _You_, she wanted to say. _You don't want me, like I suddenly want you._ "I don't know."

"Well," Jace stated, getting off the bed, "Let's go out. I'll call Isabelle tomorrow, and she'll take you dress shopping, okay?"

A pair of high-waist denim shorts with studs were thrown her way, along with a skin tight, lace crop top, and her combat boots. The outfit would be considered normal for her, if it weren't for the lack of undershirt. But she knew Jace didn't pick anything else more revealing otherwise he would have to spend his night punching anyone who so much looked her way.

"Go change and meet me at the car in ten," he said over his shoulder. She turned to walk towards her bathroom suite before she heard his footsteps stop at the door. "Oh, and babe? Leave your hair down."

* * *

Clarissa stood outside of Pandemonium behind a line of impatient teenagers that were covered with sweat and the smell of what would be under-age drinking. How some of them managed to get past the bouncer, she would be oblivious too. She didn't particularly like partaking in this type of social environment, but it was a nice escape every once and awhile.

She usually found herself here with Jace every now and then, due to him always knowing exactly when she needed an escape. Loud music, and a room full of dancing people always seemed to lighten up her mood. Despite the lack of sober people inside of the almost overcrowded club. she was in desperate need of some form of release, and alcohol seemed to be the best option.

They made it past the bouncer with ease, considering Alec Lightwood owned his share of the popular spot in town. He had managed to gain a share of it after years of working under Camille, and when she got pregnant, she left the club in her most loyal employee's hands. Which was understandable, considering how reliable Alec truly was after all. He seemed to keep the club at it's best, never one to disappoint.

He had offered Clary a job as a waitress once, but her brother had refused saying it was not up for discussion. Jace later agreed with John, earning two weeks of silence from Clarissa. The memory brought back a sour taste in her mouth. Sometimes his over protectiveness got a bit annoying. But it was Jace, and if there was one thing she couldn't do, it was remaining mad at him.

Especially when he did his god smile that he knew got her. But she had him wrapped around her finger when she pulled out her big eyes, pouted lips, and a bat of her eyelashes. They were smart enough to stay away from those weaknesses most of the time.

She felt a pressure to her hand, forcing her thoughts to halt as she looked up at the figure next to her.

"In your own world again, babe?" he questioned, a lazy smile playing on his features. She nodded, as he continued to lead her to the bar, barely catching his next sentence. "Sometimes I wish I could follow you."

"Huh?" she questioned, wanting him to elaborate but he just shook his head. She couldn't help but to roll her eyes. "You're there, whether you know it or not, you know."

His eyes were on her, never leaving her own green hues. "I know."

Her cheeks suddenly betrayed her, feeling the warmth spread throughout her as he pulled out a stool for her, ordering shots before she even had the chance to spot Alec.

To say tonight would be boring, would be an understatement.

* * *

**Reviews? Ideas? What do you want to happen once the alcohol sets in? ;)**

**~ xx**


	4. Chapter 3 - Wake Up

**TBH I couldn't think of anything to happen at the club, because I just had ideas for home coming. So basically, we're skipping that, and going to home coming. If you want to know what DID happen at the club, review and let me know and I'll post the chapter. (: Okay this chapter probably sucks w/e**

* * *

Clarissa had been dragged to the Lightwood's home directly after school by Isabelle in order to get ready for the dance. The dark haired beauty insisted it would take hours to get everything just right, because after all, Home Coming was one of the most memorable memories of your entire High School experience.

At least, that's how it should be.

Despite all of the butterflies roaming around in the pit of her stomach, they were not caused by her date for the dance. And quite honestly, at this point, she felt sick to her stomach.

"Isabelle, I'm not sure about this," Clary muttered, her eyes still woven shut as the other girl continued doing her make up with perfect skill.

She heard Izzy huff in annoyance, and she could almost see the roll of her eyes. "_Clarissa_, you're going to be fine. Raphael won't be able to keep his hands off you when I'm finished with you."

"I wish he would keep his hands off," she grumbled, folding her arms across her chest. She knew she was being utterly ridiculous at this point, but she didn't care.

The brush that was previously on her eye stilled immediately, and she felt it being taken away before she felt the bed shift beneath her as Izzy sat down. She took this as her cue to open her eyes in order to look at her best girl friend.

"Clary, what is this all about? What's going on with you and Raphael? I haven't even seen you kiss him in the past three weeks. Is there anything I should know?"

Clary sighed, knowing that there was no easy way out of it at this point. Isabelle would find out sooner or later, and she needed to tell somebody. Somebody she could trust.

Taking a deep breath, she let it all out quickly, forming one long word of it. "Ilikesomeoneelse." Burying her head in her hands, she fought back the tears she had been able to keep in for too long. "I like someone else, Isabelle. I don't like my boyfriend, I like someone else. Someone who I can never have. Someone who will never want me the way I so desperately want them."

She felt Isabelle rub small circled on her lower back, and she was thankful for her attempt to calm her down. "Who is it, Clary?" she questioned. Great, the question game.

Isabelle could see right through her, so there was no use in lying at this point. "Jace," she whispered.

She heard Isabelle's large intake of breath before she screeched "WHAT?! YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT?"

Looking up to meet her intense gaze, she shook her head, speaking in a low, hoarse whisper. "I'm not kidding, Isabelle. I've never felt the way about anyone like I feel about with Jace. It just took the incident with Aline the first day of school for me to see it."

"Oh, babygirl, come here," Isabelle murmured, engulfing her small frame in her embrace as sobs finally racked over her.

For the first time in years, she let her emotions truly take over her mind. She cried for herself, for Jace, for her parents; for everything.

When her tears began to slow, she wiped away the moisture on her cheeks, before turning around to the mirror in Isabelle's room.

Her chest vibrated with laughter, still sniffling.

"I look like shit," she commented, her voice still hoarse from crying.

Izzy grinned, flicking her hair behind her shoulder. "No one will believe that when I'm done with you, and especially not Jace."

* * *

7:05 pm.

Clarissa stood in front of the floor length mirror on the back of the door, inspecting Isabelle's handiwork.

The girl before her looked nothing like her. She was wearing a skintight white dress with golden accents that hung around her frame, showing off all of her curves almost perfectly. The golden accents seemed to show off her emerald eyes even more so than before, as well as her already noticeable red hair that was now down in loose curls that ended right above her waist line. Isabelle said she was leaving her hair down, because of Jace.

Her eyes were smudged with a dark, sparkly golden eye shadow, and her lips were a bright shade red that Isabelle said wouldn't come off with a nudge and a wink. The memory made her laugh. Izzy had also stuck her in a new pair of golden high heels that were probably the most beautiful shoes she had ever owned. The props of having a fashionista for a best friend.

She felt Isabelle link her arm through her own, smiling down at her.

"You ready, Clare?" she questioned in a soft tone, knowing how worried she had been moments before.

She simply shrugged as they made their way down the flight of stairs where the boys were waiting, her eyes trained to the steps. "Look up," she heard Izzy whisper in her ear as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

She followed her order, only to be met with a pair of golden orbs that were popping out of his head as they trailed hungrily up and down her frame. She couldn't hide her smile, knowing that she had actually gotten a reaction out of him. She also noticed the ditzy blonde on his arm. But her moment ended soon when she heard her brothers cough.

She turned her attention to him. "You look beautiful, sis," he said with a genuine smile. She grinned back, nodding as a thank you as Raphael walked over to her.

Her eyes focused back on Jace who met her gaze, despite his date attempting to seduce him in the living room. She broke contact as soon as Raphael's lips came into contact with her cheek. Her cheeks flushed, as she looked down at the ground.

"Wow, mami," she hear him whisper seductively in her ear. She just nodded, hoping he would just lay off. But she knew that was impossible by his firm grip on her waist.

"Alright children, don't go anywhere! I want pictures!" she heard Maryse call from down the hall. Leave it to her to save the day.

* * *

After they had taken up the entire camera's memory card in pictures of all sorts, they had finally made it to homecoming. Clarissa had somehow lost her date during the middle of the dance, but she shrugged it off, thankful for his lack of presence.

Turning her attention to the dance floor, she searched for a familiar figure. She grinned when she found him on the other side of the room, but it quickly disappeared as she saw him playing tonsil hockey with his date by the exit.

Her stomach dropped, and her tears from earlier resurfaced. She rushed towards the doors to a room, hoping her escape had gone unnoticed.

When the door flung open, she found her date, along with Aline with their tongues down each other's throats.

She expected to feel anger, or agony, but felt nothing.

"Huh. Go figure," she muttered as the couple turned to face her in horror. She slammed the door in their faces before they had the chance to "explain".

She began in the other direction, towards the exit. She knew Jace's eyes were on her, but at this point she didn't care.

She stumbled outside in a rush, being welcomed with the cold autumn breeze, and the not-so-gentle sprinkles of water from the skies. Her arms wrapped protectively around her small frame in an attempt to remain some warmth in her.

She heard the screeching of the door open behind her, and she didn't need to turn around to know who had joined her out in the rain.

"You shouldn't be out here, you'll catch a cold," she whispered, knowing very well that he could hear her. She was proven right by the scoff that escaped him.

"I should be saying the same, you know. Are you okay, Pippi?" he questioned suddenly, his tone softening into one of worry.

Frowning, she turned to face him, her brows creasing in the process. "You know I've always hated that nickname, Jace."

"But it got you to turn around," he said smoothly, as if stating the most obvious thing in the world. He took a step towards her, his hands coming to rest on either side of her face, wiping off the tears she didn't know were there. "Hey, don't cry, babe. Raphael will get what's coming to him. I swear on the Angel."

Clarissa couldn't help but to roll her eyes, despite her vulnerable state. "I wasn't crying over him. I could care less about him and Aline shacking up."

Jace's eyes darkened, no emotion displaying but she could tell after years of practice that he was genuinely confused. If anyone could read Jace like an open book, it would have been her. "You don't care that he cheated on you? I thought you did all this-", he motioned towards her beautiful dress that hung to every curve perfectly, "for him."

The ground became overly interesting for her then, as she let out a barely audible "I lied" She had hoped that he didn't hear, but she knew he did as soon as she heard his sharp intake of breath.

She felt his fingers grasp her chin firmly, lifting her face up to be met with golden orbs. Green melted into gold.

"What do you mean you lied?"

"Nothing I did was for _him,_ Jace." It was now or never. She broke away from his hold, turning in the opposite direction as she spoke with such clarity and exhaustion. "I did it for you, you moron. I did it in hopes that maybe you'd finally notice me in a different light, and wake up. But that was my fault for thinking you might actually feel something for me." Her tears were flowing freely now, her red puffy eyes still noticeable in the middle of the rainstorm as her curls were now soaked in ruined, clinging to her face as her dress was to her body. Every ounce of her was ruined in that very moment, from the inside out.

She turned back towards him, not sure of what to expect. His face was unreadable, and she watched as he opened his mouth as if to speak, only to close it once again, along with his eyes.

He wasn't going to say a word, but he didn't need to. She got the not so subtle hint. Shaking her head, she turned and walked back towards the parking lot, leaving two things behind – Jace, and her heart.

* * *

**If you want to see Clary's dress, let me know.**

**Any ideas for future chapters, or details you'd like me to add? Let me know.**

**Review for the next chapter.**

**~ xxx**


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